"In society's point of view - and it's a negative view - women can be seen as having attracted that attention. "If a woman is abused, obviously there are traumas and effects from that," added Reiss, the interim medical director at Providence Behavioral Hospital in Holyoke, Mass., chiefly overseeing children and adolescent care. David Reiss, who, during more than 25 years as a practicing psychiatrist, has mainly treated adults who were abused as children, including sexually assaulted males. It not only stirs their sense of weakness about being victimized but also the whole issue of sexual attitude and identity," said Dr. "It's somehow much more shameful for a male to admit to being abused. While rape is traumatic for everyone, boys and men are more likely than girls or women to keep that violence to themselves for extended periods of time - if not, forever - and to grapple with a host of mental and emotional ills that accompany their decision, clinicians said. That he managed eventually to confront his abuser and tell his family, including his wife and three children - to say nothing of going on the speaking circuit - puts Treml in that rare number of abused boys and men who dare to face the truth of what happened to them and share that story. Then you just go into denial," added Treml. Those emotions become so powerful you become numb. Or they'd think it was my fault or I was asking for this or I was homosexual. You don't know what to do or what to say," said Treml, a regular public speaker on sexual abuse of men and boys.
"As a kid, you're completely frightened by what's happening to you.
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Convicted Catholic "priests understood this dynamic and picked boys partly because they are less likely to be believed," he said.Īllegations that Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach at powerhouse Penn State, was a serial child molester have brought those fraught realities to the fore at a time when, by the most frequently cited reference, an estimated one in six boys will be sexually assaulted before they turn 18. "Boys are less likely to disclose," said University of Massachusetts clinical psychologist David Lisak, who works with male victims and victimizers. Sexual predators, clinicians said, are keenly aware that those complexities fuel male reluctance to discuss what happened. He started smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol, trying to blot out the fear, shame, guilt, hurt and assorted confusions about his sexuality that abuse survivors and the clinicians who treat them say are particularly acute for sexually assaulted males in a culture still prone to telling boys not to cry and to always be ready to defend themselves.
(His abuser also happened, at the time, to be a family friend.) It was repeated and complete."įor 21 years after that torture ended, Treml, a baseball player who also ran track, kept the details secret from his even closest kin.
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"It was full sexual assault," said Treml, now 53, who left that league after two years of abuse.
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